Stanksgiving

Sorry for the long delay, but here it comes. Another rotten short story from Shane Zentz, and this one will really smell, I promise. Yes, more bad fiction from Shane Zentz is heading right your way. So here it is, it’s called ‘Stanksgiving’ and its the story of a thanksgiving dinner gone way wrong. I think you will like this one, so here is Chapter one, entitled “What’s that smell?”…..enjoy the read…………..

Stanksgiving

by Shane Zentz

 

Chapter One: What’s that smell?

 

“Damn, that smells good, honey”, Harold said. “Ya, I thinks that thanksgiving dinner will turn out pretty good this year”, Sally said. “But you don’t needs to be bothering me whilst I’m trying to cook this on up”, a frustrated and hot Sally told her husband, Harold. “Alright, I’ll gets out of your way and let you cook up this here Thanksgiving meal”, he said. Harold put his nose up in the air and took a big, deep breath, taking in all the smells in the kitchen.  “Hey, I’m just wondering, does ya thinks that we all will have enough food here”, Harold asked? Sally continued stiring a pot and did not acknowledge Harold’s question. “How many peoples we got coming for Thanksgiving dinner this year”, Harold asked? “Now, don’t you go and worry yourself all up, we will have plenty for everyone”, Sally said. “I done bought us up a 42-pound turkey, and it’s cookin’ away right now”, she said.

 

‘Now, where did you go and get you a 42-pound turkey”, Harold asked? “I boughts it from a man what was selling em out by the plant over yonder”, Sally said. “What plant, not the nuclear plant they gots over there, did you”, he asked? “Ya, thats where I got it, I gots it plenty cheap too, it was only four dollars”, she replied. “That there bird could be toxified, you know all the stories we hear about what goes on at that there nuclear plant”, Harold worried. “Now your all worried abouts nothing, just takes a look at that there bird cookin up in there”, Sally said. Harold walked over to the oven, pulled the door open and bent down to take a peek inside. He studied the contents of the oven for a little while, took another deep whiff and then closed the door. “Ya, your probably right, that turkey sure enough smells great so it must be alright to eat”, Harold said. “Go on gets out of here and let me finish cookin this up”, Sally demanded. And Harold left the kitchen, and Sally returned to her chore of cooking.

 

Harold went up to the bathroom to get in some reading and to make room for the upcoming Thanksgiving day dinner that was soon to be served. Meanwhile Sally was cooking in the kitchen. She was making her speciality, an eight bean salad, which consisted of eight different kinds of beans as well as onions and cabbage. All of the sudden she heard a noise and stopped what she was doing. She thought that the noise was a muted belch. It must be Harold hanging around she thought. But she soon realised that it could not have been Harold because she heard the upstairs toilet flush with a roar. “That toilet is sure enough gonna be sore in the morning”, she thought. But then she wondered what it was that she had heard. She thought that it had come from the oven or near the oven. She walked over to the oven and opened the door.

 

When Sally opened the door another belch sounded followed by a burbeling sound, like boiling oil. She looked in the oven and saw that the turkey was cooking but also noticed that there appeared to be some thick green liquid oozing from several cavities of the bird. This is unusual, she thought. But there were no odd smells, everything seemed good, so she decides to just ignore it and lets the bird continue to cook. The smell of Thanksgiving was all in the air, downstairs, but upstairs, Harold had just finished up his business in the bathroom and a mighty stink filled the air. Harold grabbed a can of Lysol heavy duty air freshener from a cabinet and let loose with a cloud of spray. This did not kill the horrible smell but instead somehow mated with it and eventually produced a new smell altogether. The resulting smell was not as bad as the first but still potent and skunky. Harold cracked a window to help get rid of the stench, but even that did not seem to help too much.